1. Focus on what you can control
While some people are naturally more resilient than others, resilience is a skill that anyone can learn. The best way to build mental toughness is to practice the strategies and techniques that can help you cope with life’s challenges. This will not only enable you to better manage difficulties but will also prepare you for future hardships and trauma.
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Resilient people can cope with life’s challenges by focusing on what they can control. Whether it’s a difficult financial situation or the death of a loved one, identifying what you can and cannot change will help you feel less overwhelmed and more empowered. Focusing on negative thoughts and feelings is counterproductive, as they are a waste of your energy.
Having strong relationships with supportive friends and family members can also be a great way to promote resilience. Being able to talk about difficult events with someone you trust will help ease your pain and emotions. Having some form of spirituality or religious beliefs can also provide a sense of meaning and purpose, which is important for many people when they are going through a crisis. Taking part in activities that promote community involvement and engagement, such as volunteering or sports, may be helpful too.
Taking steps to improve your life and become the best version of yourself is another key component in building resilience. Avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, make healthy choices, and take care of your physical well-being. Creating short and long-term goals, and then sticking to them regularly will help you feel accomplished and capable. Getting help from a mental health professional is also an option for some people who are struggling to cope with life’s challenges.
2. Don’t see yourself as a victim
Resilient people don’t see themselves as victims of their circumstances. Instead, they recognize their role in the way they feel about a situation and use that knowledge to make better choices moving forward. This is an important aspect of resilience, especially for those who suffer from mental health conditions, as it can help offset factors that can increase the risk of developing these conditions.
Resilient individuals are often seen as role models for others, as they tend to be able to cope with adversity better than most. This is true of both minor life stresses and major crises, like a divorce, job loss, illness, or death of a loved one.
However, just because a person is resilient doesn’t mean they don’t experience feelings of fear, worry, or upset. It is natural to feel this way at times, but it is important to realize that letting these negative emotions control you can be harmful. Resilient individuals don’t let their emotions dictate their actions, so they can move through difficult times without feeling helpless or hopeless.
Likewise, resilient individuals don’t think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. They know that they are strong enough to ask for and accept assistance, whether it is from a friend or a professional therapist. This is an important aspect of resilience as it allows them to strengthen their support system and build confidence in their ability to overcome difficult circumstances.
Resilience can be developed in everyone, even if they have been exposed to trauma or other challenges early on in life. The key is to practice certain protective resources and skills, such as supportive relationships, emotional awareness, and adaptive coping strategies.
3. Learn to manage strong emotions and impulses
Often, resilience involves overcoming difficulties that bring up emotions like anger or sadness. Taking a step back and recognizing these emotions can help us develop coping skills to manage them. If we can learn to calm down when we are upset or practice rechanneling negative thoughts into positive ones, it can allow us to work through difficult experiences and move on.
A key component of resilience is the ability to rely on support systems. This can include relationships with family, friends, and other community members who offer guidance, care, and love in times of need. It can also mean reaching out to professionals who can assist with stress management, such as a counselor, physician, or social worker.
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Another key factor in resilience is the ability to problem-solve. Being able to identify what aspects of a situation you can control and what you can’t give you confidence and reassurance that you can take on new challenges. For example, if you’re worried about your job, it might make sense to try out some new coping skills or ask for feedback from a trusted colleague before making major changes.
Life doesn’t come with a map and you may find yourself navigating twists and turns that bring unexpected obstacles and hardship. You might be caring for a loved one with an illness, dealing with the loss of a job, or facing financial instability. Or you might be trying to find your way through a difficult relationship. Whatever you are facing, learning to build resilience can give you the strength and resources to cope.
Resilience can be a powerful tool to improve your overall mental health. It can help protect you from a mental health condition, such as depression or anxiety, and can help you cope with existing conditions. Getting resilience training from a professional therapist at BetterHelp can help you gain these skills and learn to adapt well in the face of life’s challenges.
4. Take a break
Taking regular breaks helps you detach from your work and refreshes your mental and physical state. This helps you regain focus and boosts your productivity, both of which are important for building resilience. Whether it’s taking a vacation, staying at home to relax, or simply stepping away from your desk for 15 minutes every hour, you should make time to take breaks regularly.
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Research on break schedules reveals that the frequency, length, and type of activity you do during your breaks impact how effective they are. In addition, researchers have found that taking breaks in line with ultradian rhythms, the biological cycles that regulate your sleep and wakefulness, are key to minimizing mental fatigue and promoting better performance.
If you struggle to prioritize your breaks or have trouble keeping them consistent, try setting alarms in your calendar and computer that will remind you to take a short break to stretch your legs, do some deep breathing, or step outside for a few minutes. Incorporating these micro-breaks into your daily routine can help you maintain a healthy balance between work and life, even during busy times of the year.
When it comes to longer breaks, a vacation is always a great option, but you can also unwind with a staycation or other fun activities such as a hobby or a workout session. Just be sure to choose an activity that isn’t too similar to the work you are doing so that you can reap the most benefits. Spending time outdoors and engaging in physical activity are especially restful activities.
5. Be grateful
A growing body of research suggests that expressing gratitude regularly can help people cope with the challenges life throws at them. One way to practice this is by focusing on things you are grateful for each day. This helps people refocus their attention on what is working well in their lives and can foster positive emotions like joy and humor.
Practicing gratitude is also a great protective factor, as it has been shown to reduce the negative impact of life’s stresses and hardships. Several studies have shown that people who engage in gratitude-promoting activities have lower rates of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.
Being resilient is not a trait that you either have or don’t have. It is a skill set that can be learned and improved over time, just like any other personal strength. Resilience requires a lot of work, dedication, and effort, so it is important to make time for it in your daily routine.
Remember, it’s not just about what you can control but also about the events that are out of your control, such as traffic on a busy highway. When you get frustrated by something out of your control, try not to take it out on other people or yourself — for example, instead of yelling at other drivers, focus your energy on adjusting your driving behavior to avoid frustration.
For instance, if you’re frustrated by slow traffic, try changing your route to avoid the problem areas or find ways to distract yourself while you wait, such as by listening to music or thinking of new ideas for your next project. Also, try to keep in mind that you can’t control the actions of other people or the weather, but you can choose how you react to them.
